Natalie I’m sorry, I feel bad.
You are my girl, you are my side kick, my sweetheart, I honestly can’t imagine a life without you and if someone asked me what I “do” I know exactly what I would say to them. But this morning I completely forgot.
I had 3 places to be at the exact same time and a day full of cake making. Scott forgot his lunch money, I had forgotten about Scotts ortho appointment AND I was meeting friends for Visting Teaching. So when you texted me that you forgot the binder you needed I was annoyed. And when I drove over and we were exchanging texts for 10 minutes trying to locate each other at the school I was super annoyed. I was in a hurry to get going, I had places to be!!! People were waiting!! And my irritation showed in my texts.
But when you texted: “I see you please come back” I did.
When you ran up to the car in tears it hit me- I had totally forgotten my part! Instead of helping in what was a stressful situation for you, I made it worse. You RARELY forget things (if you did all the time this might be a different conversation 😉 ) and when I saw how bad you felt after running around trying to find me I just felt like I had totally blown it. I realized I had completely forgotten what my most important job was. Because I was impatient and annoyed I didn’t help you, I added to your problem. I am sorry sweet girl!
All I ever wanted to be was a mom. I am not a baker first, I am not a friend first….half the time I am not even a wife first. I’m a mom. You guys are my priority. I only have a few short years and then you will not be here to need me which makes me really sad, so how could I forget?? I know life happens, and you guys are so patient with all my craziness, but I know I am not going to look back in 10 years and wish I had made one more cake! I don’t want to regret putting other things before you.
When I opened my computer just now to write this, I found your note on the screen:
Good grief, how could I have forgotten?
I am sorry for the times past, present and future that my priorities have been, are, and will be mixed. For the times I ever think a project, an order, an activity, or a clean house are more important than you. I am trying to do better and you make me WANT to be better all the time because I know I am so lucky to be your mom.
I want you to understand that I KNOW that being a mom “is not an incidental part of the plan; it is the plan of happiness; it is the key to happiness.”
Thank you for loving me and being patient with me! I love you Natty Girl! Now for the fun part- here’s your birthday letter 🙂